Happy New Year

Last blog post of the year, crazy. This year has been filled with a lot of good, and a lot of bad. I really hope that this coming year is better. I also hope that my friend phones me tonight, otherwise I'll spend my New Year's Eve right here, at this computer. Fun fun, missed the LCBO wanted to get a little somethin' somethin' but nope, wasn't meant to be right now I suppose, so hopefully I get a phone call asking me to go hang out. Aaaaaaaaaanyways thats it I guess.


Happy New Year
love to whoever comes here & reads my dinky blog.

Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone around the world has an awesome Holiday season, that their Christmas' and whatever they may celebrate is filled with family and friends and joy and laughter. I hope that if you asked for gifts that you get what you want - and may you give out the gifts that they want as well after all giving is more fun than receiving!


Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year!

WOAH

I can get dramatic. That last post I don't remember that. Oh damn haha, I promise I'm not like that. I'm happy I am, last night must've gotten a little iffy for me. Oops? Haha, oh well I'm just fine! I WILL find someone, I know it. Wow, haha discard that last one!

Was happy

I had a good night, drank had fun. Whatever, was fun.

Now I feel like crap

Nothing special

No one will ever want me, love me.

It's how I feel so please don't make me feel better about this. I just feel like, because I'm "damaged goods" that no one will ever want me again. Simple as that, I'm un-loveable and at this moment I'm alright with that, because it means I'll never get hurt again - no one will ever get that close to me AGAIN - close enough to break my heart. I'm going to start keeping those walls up again so I won't get hurt. Simple, easy painless. Just like the death I hope for myself.

This should be in my other blog...

I'm just too lazy go over to that one.

Anyways, I guess I've kinda figured out what I want to do in life. I want to do photography for a few years and become somewhat successful in that - well I want to make a name for myself really, not famous famous, but kinda Ian Ruther who's known for his awesome photos - and do that and have fun while I take beautiful photos. Then I want to start a family, maybe I'll find "the one" while I'm out traveling around the world shooting photos for fashion mags. Then I want to settle down and, go back to school for Interior Design and I want to do that, I didn't realize it was something I'd be into but thinking back I have a really good eye for detail and I know what colours go with what, and I'm fairly good at coming up with organizational stuff. That's what I'd love to fall back on and do while I raise a family. I know that I want to do creative things with my life, and leave my mark in some small way. I just figured all this out while talking to my ex, he was really pushing me to figure it out in a subtle way and it just was like one of those "Aha!" moments - where it all comes together in some way. I'm a little iffy about telling people, cause me & my friend LOL'd over me being a "Martha Stewart" or a "Debbie Travis" but I love those shows on like HGTV where they re-do rooms & houses. Even Holmes on Homes I love, it reminds me of my Dad & brother. I guess, it's in my blood. It feels a little scary & amazing knowing -at least sort of- what I want to do with my life.

Christmas - About you.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Either or, doesn't really matter.


2. Real tree or Artificial? I'd love real but my sisters passed down small tree does just fine!


3. When do you put up the tree? Mid-December


4. When do you take the tree down? The week after New Year


5. Do you like eggnog? Mmmm yes

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Disney VHS

7. Hardest person to buy for? My brothers


8. Easiest person to buy for? My Mom

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yep, we have one every year under the tree

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Christmas Cards (sending them out!)

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Earphones.


12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Charlie Brown


13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? When I have the money


14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Hah, yes, my ex's gift I got him. I'll be giving it to my brothers instead.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Turkey!

16. Lights on the tree? Yup, coloured ones.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Last Christmas - Glee Cast


18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home, unless I was going to my Gramas

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Rudolph, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Dancer - (these ones I googled) Comet, Donner & Blitzen.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One gift Christmas Eve, and all the other Christmas Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Not having money for gifts

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? My Mom's old wooden ones.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? See my "Christmas Wishlist" for that, oh maybe some Lush products, and the Clinique 3 step skin care system.