:o

I got the job!!!!


YAYYYY ME!!!

Errrr

Awriight. So I started a tumblr, which you can see here Muh tumblr!    

I didn't get the job. Boohoo! Ah well, someone else got it that's more like qualified. I'm happy for her, but sad for me!


What else, what else. Nothin much is new haha. Sooo I'mma make a NEW wish-list of crap that I want!

...maybe later on lmfao. I'm LAZY now (its quarter to 2!!!)  

University!

Here I come!


I got accepted, into University! Amaaaazing!!! I bawled, haha. I started to cry! Such a huge relief knowing that I got in!! Aaaah!! Also have a job interview on Monday or Tuesday. Go me!

Could life, get any better right now?

Whoever has been reading my blog here, knows that I rant most of the time. This is a kind of rant. With happiness sprinkled in there too!

A friend, the friend I was moving with, bailed on me. Understandable I completely understand! I felt like she left me butt fucked in the middle of vaginaville. And then I thought "Oh shit! How am I going to handle the bills??" Was scared, and then I looked into residence and realized "hey if I can get in here, that'd be awesome!" No bills, no rent! Yesterday when I was getting to a low point, upset because I hadn't heard from the College or University yet I checked OUAC and then I actually clicked on the damn thing sure enough, there was 2 offers of admission. I felt, so over-joyed. I realized, that maybe going to University alone is the best thing for me. Living in residence with 200 other people. Going to school with 4000 people (maybe more, not sure!) I'm bound to meet new people, new friends. I looked through their website all last night, and I realized that this is the place for me. This is where my heart is set on going, this course is what I want. I'll miss my best friend, I'll talk to her online, we'll talk about how our days are. What classes we love, which we hate. And, we'll do it online instead of face to face.


I'm excited, I'm happy. Again, I ask.

Could life, get any better? 

 At this point, I don't think so.


I have my cherry ice cream, chocolate bars and a good book. I've just been accepted into one of the best Universities in Northwestern Ontario. I have family and friends who love the shit out of me. Life, just can't get any better. 

Also - the sun is shining! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvWg0oH2YBo (I wanna be a billionaire so fuckin bad!)
Song that's in my head constantly! & Kinda goes with the moment! Haha

Sorry...

My give a damn is busted.


Yeah, happy but not. It's the way it usually goes I suppose. Anyways, school. Ah, yeah that is going slowly for me I suppose but it will get done. Work, that is a whole different story I can't find a job. No one wants to hire me I sell myself and make myself look good and in the end no one wants to hire me. I think its my fault, maybe not enough experience in some field or something I've not a clue.

My friend who I'm supposed to move in with, I love her but man sometimes you just don't feel like talking to anyone except a few people - tonight is one of those nights. She's trying to make me feel better but it isn't working. Whatever though, I still like talking to her so it's not like I DON'T want to - it's just I'd rather not.

What else, the new house is alright. I like it well enough, its homey. I'm only here for a few months until I move anyways. So it's all good. I'm tired, I shouldn't be but I am. Trying to get out of the "napping" habit. I need more energy. I wanna lose weight, I always say it but now I have SOME motivation (new school) but still I just, I get lazy and then I stop giving a fuck.


Blah, I feel poopy too. I just, don't care or I care too much. Either or, whatever. I haven't cut in a long time but that doesn't mean I don't SI still cause I do. I still find ways to hurt myself even if I don't realize it. I got rid of my blades but I kinda wish I didn't I liked knowing that if I needed to I could. I can, but it wouldn't be the same since I don't have my blades. For the best I assume though, this "not cutting" thing, I DO hope that I don't relapse again. Ah well. 


 All is fine over here, for now.

My niece

She is one of the most important people in the world to me. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Ever since her mother got pregnant with her, I loved her. I knew that whether or not that baby was a boy or girl I would love them. But, she came out a little girl one of the most beautiful little things I have ever seen. From the moment I held her and she looked at me, my heart melted and I was wrapped around that little girls finger. She is now 25 months old and she brings so much joy into my life. When I feel sad or anything all I have to do is say "hug" and she hugs me and all is well again. I cannot wait to have my own kids one day, I know that as much as I love her I'll love them. She's talking more and more and she has emotions and she'll let you know what she's feeling. It is amazing to watch someone grow from 1 day old to 25 months. I love her so much. She is attached to me and everyone sees it, she loves her Auntie Stacey. When her parents aren't around I'm the one she's with and the one she goes to for a "dooce" (juice) or "nana" (banana) or whatever her stomach wants. Hahaha.

 

that right there, is the little one who has stolen my heart

I love you so much little girl!! 

Perspective & being happy

I believe that I deserve to be happy. I believe that good things are to come. I also believe that I've lived through a lot of shit in my life. We all have, at one point or another we've been through something that seemed so bad that maybe I should just give up. Well if you're reading this then that means you haven't given up yet. I haven't and right now I don't intend to. I want good things to happen! I cannot wait to go school and do things that I've only dreamt of thus far. I'm also scared for it, cause I'm unsure if I can do it. I'm thinking positive about it though because if I start to think negatively then I'll just scare myself silly and I won't do it! That's not right is it? No, so I'm just trying to keep myself happy and myself in good spirits even though my family is going through so much drama. My step sister - what she's going through, it sucks majorly. She needs a good change in her life, not sure if it'll come soon enough. I hope it does, I really do.

We get to move in early to our house! I hope that we can move in like 3 days earlier because MY SISTER WANTS TO COME SEE US AND HELP US MOVE! I can't wait to see her, I miss her so much. She is one of the people that makes my heart happy, along with my niece. I love the people who make my heart happy, and I'm sure they love me as well!


Alright, I should go though, it is ALMOST 1am and I need sleep haha. Wish me luck with a job I applied for the other night!!!

Just stuff...

I have so much going on right now. I feel so, I don't know I'm not sure how to explain it. It's weird cause I want to talk to someone but the people I usually run to for it have a lot on their plates and I don't wanna add more to it. It sucks, I really want to have someone to talk to about everything. I just, so much inside that its starting to kill me slowly. I don't feel numb but I feel like crying a lot. I blame it on PMS but when its month long. It's not normal I went through conversations with a friend and we've blamed it on me being in a funk. A 10 year funk? That's not right so I think I need to talk to someone a professional; cause me feeling like this all the time and wanting to cut even when I don't really want to isn't normal at all. Eugh, this sucks. Love sucks - just seen that on the TV ...ANYWAYS I think I'll cut this short, even with everything swimming around my brain I don't feel like dumping it all on here right now. I won't cut I know that I might want to but I'm trying to be strong, for myself and for everyone it's why I cant say anything about how I'm feeling. Trying to be strong and not have anyone wonder whats really wrong with me. When in reality, almost everything is.

PISSED

cock blocked by my own stepdad. wet & horny...wanting to get off, have someone to cyber with but no. wtf dude....wtf I just wanna orgasm while I'm wetttttt. DAMMIT

Random, just like me.

I have another wishlist, haha. These are things that I'd like to buy myself when I get the money. I don't really want these as gifts BUT if you are so inclined, send me a message! Haha, jk. Seriously, theres like 2 things here that are affordable if you want....:D   Mostly electronic stuff haha. I have a doctor appt next week I'll be bringing up my acid reflux & my lack of sleep and my acne and red marks. I also have to make an eye doctor appt for new glasses. I phoned my reserve for funding for school. My package should be in the mail this coming week! It's becoming REAL all I need is money for the applications so I can send those in. I'll be applying for a few courses at Canadore College and as well as Nipissing University   I'm excited! This year is a year of change I'm thinking, been stuck in a rut which is causing me to be in a funk! Which is not fun. Man, I am craving some alone time. Hope I can sleep in tomorrow! Maybe not but then I'll just nap during the day haha. Anyways, thats it.

• Ghd Flat Iron - Lepoard Print GHD Flat Iron
• SkullCandy Headphones TI Chick Pink  
• MacBook Pro 15in MacBook Pro 
• Imac PRETTY IMAC! lol 
• IPod Touch ITouch (can you tell I have a thing for apple products)
• EITHER A Canon camera or  A Nikon camera
• A desk for all that stuff Desks

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope this is a good year for everyone who reads my dinky blog. :D