Just stuff...

I have so much going on right now. I feel so, I don't know I'm not sure how to explain it. It's weird cause I want to talk to someone but the people I usually run to for it have a lot on their plates and I don't wanna add more to it. It sucks, I really want to have someone to talk to about everything. I just, so much inside that its starting to kill me slowly. I don't feel numb but I feel like crying a lot. I blame it on PMS but when its month long. It's not normal I went through conversations with a friend and we've blamed it on me being in a funk. A 10 year funk? That's not right so I think I need to talk to someone a professional; cause me feeling like this all the time and wanting to cut even when I don't really want to isn't normal at all. Eugh, this sucks. Love sucks - just seen that on the TV ...ANYWAYS I think I'll cut this short, even with everything swimming around my brain I don't feel like dumping it all on here right now. I won't cut I know that I might want to but I'm trying to be strong, for myself and for everyone it's why I cant say anything about how I'm feeling. Trying to be strong and not have anyone wonder whats really wrong with me. When in reality, almost everything is.

PISSED

cock blocked by my own stepdad. wet & horny...wanting to get off, have someone to cyber with but no. wtf dude....wtf I just wanna orgasm while I'm wetttttt. DAMMIT

Random, just like me.

I have another wishlist, haha. These are things that I'd like to buy myself when I get the money. I don't really want these as gifts BUT if you are so inclined, send me a message! Haha, jk. Seriously, theres like 2 things here that are affordable if you want....:D   Mostly electronic stuff haha. I have a doctor appt next week I'll be bringing up my acid reflux & my lack of sleep and my acne and red marks. I also have to make an eye doctor appt for new glasses. I phoned my reserve for funding for school. My package should be in the mail this coming week! It's becoming REAL all I need is money for the applications so I can send those in. I'll be applying for a few courses at Canadore College and as well as Nipissing University   I'm excited! This year is a year of change I'm thinking, been stuck in a rut which is causing me to be in a funk! Which is not fun. Man, I am craving some alone time. Hope I can sleep in tomorrow! Maybe not but then I'll just nap during the day haha. Anyways, thats it.

• Ghd Flat Iron - Lepoard Print GHD Flat Iron
• SkullCandy Headphones TI Chick Pink  
• MacBook Pro 15in MacBook Pro 
• Imac PRETTY IMAC! lol 
• IPod Touch ITouch (can you tell I have a thing for apple products)
• EITHER A Canon camera or  A Nikon camera
• A desk for all that stuff Desks

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope this is a good year for everyone who reads my dinky blog. :D

Happy New Year

Last blog post of the year, crazy. This year has been filled with a lot of good, and a lot of bad. I really hope that this coming year is better. I also hope that my friend phones me tonight, otherwise I'll spend my New Year's Eve right here, at this computer. Fun fun, missed the LCBO wanted to get a little somethin' somethin' but nope, wasn't meant to be right now I suppose, so hopefully I get a phone call asking me to go hang out. Aaaaaaaaaanyways thats it I guess.


Happy New Year
love to whoever comes here & reads my dinky blog.

Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone around the world has an awesome Holiday season, that their Christmas' and whatever they may celebrate is filled with family and friends and joy and laughter. I hope that if you asked for gifts that you get what you want - and may you give out the gifts that they want as well after all giving is more fun than receiving!


Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year!

WOAH

I can get dramatic. That last post I don't remember that. Oh damn haha, I promise I'm not like that. I'm happy I am, last night must've gotten a little iffy for me. Oops? Haha, oh well I'm just fine! I WILL find someone, I know it. Wow, haha discard that last one!

Was happy

I had a good night, drank had fun. Whatever, was fun.

Now I feel like crap

Nothing special

No one will ever want me, love me.

It's how I feel so please don't make me feel better about this. I just feel like, because I'm "damaged goods" that no one will ever want me again. Simple as that, I'm un-loveable and at this moment I'm alright with that, because it means I'll never get hurt again - no one will ever get that close to me AGAIN - close enough to break my heart. I'm going to start keeping those walls up again so I won't get hurt. Simple, easy painless. Just like the death I hope for myself.