Sex & babies.

So, basically on Friday I am going to make a purchase its something that I've been wanting for awhile now. I'm quite exicted to buy it, because I'm 22 years old and having it would make my "single life" easier on me. If you cant guess what it is, then you must be young or cant read between the lines there, btw its a "personal massager". So yeah, I just feel that, its time to make that purchase, it's only $20 as much as 2 packs of smokes. Its worth it IMO. I havent had any type of, sexual anything in like 7 or 8 months. So this purchase will be a good one. Not having any sex, has been very very sucky. To be honest, I miss it, a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

Also, I've been "back & forth" on the whole wanting a baby thing. I mean, having my own child would kinda screw my plans up, for like school and everything. Just my life plans, and all that but having one, would also be maybe nice? Idk. I know I could handle a child right now but I dont want to. Babysitting my neice, they say that usually it makes a person NOT want a baby right? Yeah, for me she made me want one even more. When I talk to my friends about school then I think "I dont want one" but when I think to myself I think "I do want one". I've had a few scares and each time, I would hope that I wasnt. Yet when I found out that I wasnt, then I would want one. I think most girls/women go through this as well. I am going to wait, simply because even though I could possibly handle one right now it isnt the right time and when I'm ready for a baby then I'll be blessed with one. I guess I'll wait.

Anyways, its time to bake some cookies with my cousin. I did dishes and took down laundry earlier, time for some cookies!

Being single, and being happy.

Eh, was thinking earlier "I'm happy being single". Its the first time in a VERY long time that, I can say that and be truthful about it. I'm so used to being a relationship of some-sort. I was with a guy for awhile there, in love all that jazz. Stuff happend, it ended. Dated someone else, he cheated left me in the middle of the night for her. Ouch, men sometimes huh? Anyways, I've been single since, the end of November-ish. Somewhere around there anyways. I'm actually kinda happy being single, sure I romantasize about being in a relationship with someone, sharing myself with that person perhaps even dare I say it. Starting a family with that person -gasp-! Alas, it would throw my life off-track in a bad way, probably not. In a way that I'm not ready for, hell yes. Being single, means that I dont have to worry about flirting with so & so, or giving a guy that look or even making out with someone. There's no need for "Honey, what do we wanna go do this tonight" its, hmm what should I do tonight, what do I want to do. Theres no "we" in "single" but there is an "I" haha. I'm starting to like that "I'm happy with who I am" not all the damn time, but most of the time oh yeah. I'm a good person! I am quite the awesome. I'm glad I can stand being around me for long hours, lol. Ah, well its thundering outside. I should throw on the iPod and get some well needed rest. Only got 5hrs last night.